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如何才能成為智商碾壓他人,帥到只有花生跟班的神探夏洛克?
十個步驟立刻打造神探夏Look:
STEP 1: GET THE LOOK
第一步 擁有傲嬌的造型
1. Buy expensive tailored clothing that only sort of fits so that most of the time your buttons appear to be just seconds from bursting.
衣服。要買那種又貴又緊的定制款,達到下一秒紐扣就會被胸肌爆開的效果。
2. Get a Belstaff coat and blue scarf. The coat cost about 1350 pounds. It's got good twirl for those dramatic moments in life.
外套。來一套貝達弗的大衣和藍圍巾。一套價值1350英鎊的大衣,隨時準備迎接人生的精彩時刻。
3. Grow your hair slightly longish, if it isn't naturally wavy (poor you), wear curlers to bed every night.
發(fā)型。略長的卷發(fā)——蛤?你不是自來卷哦?小可憐,那你只好每晚帶著卷發(fā)夾入睡了。
4. Stop eating, gotta get those cheekbone sharp enough to cut butter.
臉型。不要吃!要瘦!瘦出能切開黃油的顴骨。
STEP 2: STIM
第二步 重復(fù)標志性動作
Once you grow your hair slightly longish, be sure to play with it at every opportunity.
一有機會就炫一下小卷毛。
Fiddle with items, your hair, flick your fingers, rub your leg, pace, rock, and bite your lips.(Well, most of that could just be on the "how to cumberbatch" list)
性感的小動作,比如擺弄頭發(fā)、輕彈小指、摩擦雙腿、踱步、搖晃、輕咬嘴唇。(好吧,上面很多其實都是在回答“如何變成康伯巴奇”。)
STEP 3: PRACTICE CREEPY LOOKS
第三步 練習(xí)古怪表情
scary puppy like head tilts and glares
斜著頭,怒目,像受到驚嚇的狗狗那樣
smiles 笑
and puma snarls 并且像美洲獅一樣咆哮
STEP 4: REMIND EVERYONE about what an "idiot" or "moron" they are
第四步 提醒所有人“你們其實是蠢貨”
Play up being smarter than everyone, develop some obvious insecurities. Forget social skills if you happen to have any.
一定要展現(xiàn)自己過人的智慧,努力地表現(xiàn)出心神不定的樣子。把那些社交技巧拋到腦后吧!
以上做到了,第五步就會輕松一些。
STEP 5: GET RID of most of your friends
第五步 帥到?jīng)]朋友
Keep around people who like to remind you how smart you are, and stay even though they think you are a dick.
只跟那些能凸顯你聰明的人做朋友,哪怕他們覺得你壞壞噠。
Care about them, but don't let on mkay?
偶爾關(guān)心他們一下,但也別太真情流露,收到?
STEP 6: FIND A WATSON
第六步 找到你的“花生”
This is BBC Sherlock, so your Watson isn’t stupid. He's rather smart in his own way and insecure about his sexuality (probably straight).
因為這里說的是BBC的夏洛克,所以你的華生不是真傻,只是用自己的方式展現(xiàn)智慧。他還有點不確定自己的性向(萬一是直的呢)。
He also has serious thrill issues dude.
他也是個妥妥兒的喜歡刺激事的家伙。
Be prepared to save his life on numerous occasions.
請做好準備隨時當(dāng)他的救世主。
STEP 7: DEVELOP a special interest
第七步 培養(yǎng)癖好
It has to take over most of every waking minute. It's all you want to talk about. Prepare to watch people's eyes glaze over.
你一定有一個連走路時都念念不忘的怪癖。你只想聊這個。瞧著吧,觀眾會被你帥到的。
Nothing else matters, not even basic astronomy.
斗轉(zhuǎn)星移關(guān)我何事?我的癖好才最重要。
Make it dangerous, this will help you keep your Watson happy.
讓它具有一定的危險性,因為這也會讓你的“華生”興趣盎然。
STEP 8: PRACTICE the method of loci or roman room, or at least pretend to
第八步 反(假)復(fù)(裝)練習(xí)軌跡記憶法或者羅馬房間法
This way you can tell everyone to shut up and get out so you can go to your "mind palace".
讓別人都滾粗閉嘴,這樣你就能特別牛掰地走入“記憶宮殿”了。
STEP 9: BE SURE to tell everyone to shut up on a daily basis, it's endearing you know
第九步 每天,告訴全世界“別BB了”,其實這樣蠻圈粉的
STEP 10: Even if you don't really fit the criteria, tell everyone you are a SOCIOPATH
第十步 如果以上幾條都做不到——就公告天下說你有反社會人格
It scares/intimidates people and they don't know better anyway.
這會嚇走一些人,這些人不了解你更好。
Except your Watson, he thinks it's hot.
除了你的華生,他會覺得這樣的你性感極了!
(來源:扇貝網(wǎng) 編輯:丹妮)
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