Screen myth: Anthony Perkins as deranged mummy's boy Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 classic Psycho |
They have long been ridiculed for being sissies or too feminine. But now it seems that being a mummy’s boy might actually be a good thing for a man. A new book claims that having a close mother-son relationship actually helps boys to have a better relationships with others. Author Kate Stone Lombardi says the old stereotype that these men are weak and more likely to be gay is not true. In fact, mummy’s boys have a ‘broader definition of masculinity’ that is of significant benefit to their mental health. Mothers with close relationships to their sons have featured in countless films including the 1960 Alfred Hitchcock classic ‘Psycho’, in which Norman Bates becomes a neurotic killer. They have helped cement the idea that bringing up a child like that was damaging and unhealthy for both parties. Miss Lombardi, however, disagreed and made contact with more than 1,100 mothers over the internet to explore their experiences. The 55-year-old, who has a 23-year-old son and 26-year-old daughter, found that society fears a ‘blindly adoring mother’ putting endless praise on her son. She said that the widely accepted stereotype is that ‘a(chǎn)ny boy close to his mom will be a sissy, a wimp, forever dependent and never a man who can have a healthy relationship’. Miss Lombardi, who lives in Chappaqua, New York, added there was also an ‘unspoken fear’ that if a mother was too great an influence her son would turn out gay. Her book, called The Mama’s Boy Myth, argues that the reality is the opposite and that a close mother-son relationship is ‘good for their mental health'. These sons are also less likely to become repressed men who cannot talk about their feelings, less susceptible to peer pressure and more likely to delay their first sexual experience. Another benefit is that mothers are better communicators, Miss Lombardi said: ‘We don’t know why - if it’s specifically because of the nature of the mother-son communication.’ (Read by Nelly Min. Nelly Min is a journalist at the China Daily Website.) (Agencies) |
一直以來,他們因為娘娘腔或陰柔氣太重總是受人嘲諷。但現(xiàn)在看來,這些“奶嘴男”對媽媽的依賴也許是件好事。 一本新書稱,母子關(guān)系親密確實能幫助男性和他人相處得更好。 該書作者凱特?斯通?倫巴蒂說,認為“奶嘴男”軟弱而且更容易變成同性戀的固有成見是不對的。 事實上,“奶嘴男”對男子氣概的定義更寬泛,這對于他們的心理健康有很大的益處。 母子之間的親密關(guān)系曾在無數(shù)電影中表現(xiàn)過,包括1960年阿爾弗雷德?希區(qū)柯克的經(jīng)典電影《驚魂記》,在這部影片中,諾曼?貝茨成了一個精神病殺手。 這些電影幫助強化了一個觀念,就是用這種方式培養(yǎng)小孩對母子雙方都是有害、不健康的。 然而,倫巴蒂不認同這一觀念,并和1100多名母親在網(wǎng)上進行交流,探討她們的經(jīng)歷。 倫巴蒂是一位55歲的母親,她有一個23歲的兒子和一個26歲的女兒。她發(fā)現(xiàn)社會擔心“盲目寵愛孩子的母親”會無休止地贊美自己的兒子。 她說,人們廣泛地持有某種成見,就是“任何與母親太親密的男孩都是娘娘腔和軟骨頭,永遠都會依賴他人,也永遠不會擁有健康的感情關(guān)系”。 住在紐約查帕瓜的倫巴蒂補充說,還有一種“無言的恐懼”,就是如果母親的影響力太大,兒子可能會變成同性戀。 她這本題為《奶嘴男神話》的書指出,真實情況正好相反,母子關(guān)系親密“對他們的心理健康有益”。 此外,這些男孩不大可能長成性格壓抑、無法交流情緒的男人,他們比較不會受同輩壓力的困擾,也更可能推遲初次性體驗。 另一個好處是母親們更善于交流。倫巴蒂說:“我們不知道這是為什么——是不是由母子交流的本質(zhì)決定的?!?/p> 相關(guān)閱讀 (中國日報網(wǎng)英語點津 陳丹妮 編輯:Julie) |
Vocabulary: sissy: 女人般的男人,娘娘腔,膽小無用的男子 cement: 鞏固,加強 wimp: 軟弱(或無能)者 peer pressure: (同輩人之間的)趨同心理壓力,攀比心理壓力 |