Talking about ourselves triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money. A study in PNAS found individuals place high subjective value on opportunities to communicate their thoughts and feelings to others. This engages neural and cognitive mechanisms linked with reward.
，談?wù)撟约耗芟袷澄锖徒疱X一樣讓我們的大腦產(chǎn)生一種愉悅感?！睹绹鴩铱茖W(xué)院院刊》上的一篇研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，個體在交流思想情感時會帶入強(qiáng)烈的主觀價值。這里涉及到與獎賞有關(guān)的神經(jīng)和認(rèn)知機(jī)制。

Self-disclosure is so extreme people were willing to forgo money in order to talk about themselves, according to the researchers. An attention-giver will give their undivided attention to the individual, and allow them to focus the conversation on themselves to feel important.
研究人員稱，自我表露是非常極端的，以至于為了談?wù)撟约?，人們可以不去想金錢。一名注意力給予者會全心全意地關(guān)注對方，并允許他們把談話焦點放在自己身上，使他們感到自己很重要。

Repeat The Last Three Words
重復(fù)最后三個單詞

Repetition is ideal when it comes to good communication skills, especially repeating the last three words of a conversation; this is known as "The Echo Effect." Simply repeating the last two or three words an individual said in a sympathetic, questioning tone will allow the conversation to go back to the person, and make them feel more important. A study in Journal of Language and Social Psychology found mirroring people's words can be a very important skill in building likability, rapport, and social cohesion.
重復(fù)是完美的溝通訣竅，特別是重復(fù)一次談話中的最后三個字：這就是所謂的“回聲效應(yīng)”。用感同身受、帶著疑問的語氣簡單重復(fù)一個人說過的最后兩三個字，就會讓對話回到對方身上，讓他們感覺自己更加重要?！墩Z言與社會心理學(xué)期刊》上的一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，重復(fù)別人的話語是建立好感度、融洽氣氛以及社會凝聚力的重要技巧。

Emphasize Similarities
強(qiáng)調(diào)共性

Naturally, we tend to bond with people who are like us. However, we seem to be unaware of this fact. A study in Evolutionary Psychology found when individuals were asked what they wanted in a partner, the majority said they would prefer a complementary partner rather than a similar one. However, the individuals were more likely to choose a partner who they thought was very similar to them.
我們天生傾向于和同類建立聯(lián)系。然而，我們似乎沒有意識到這點。《進(jìn)化心理學(xué)》上的一篇研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)被問到想要什么樣的伴侶時，大多數(shù)人表示，他們更喜歡和自己互補(bǔ)的伴侶，而不是和自己相似的。然而，人們更可能選擇自己眼中的同類作為伴侶。

In reality, this shows we're not influenced by our friends after we meet them, we organically gravitate towards them because they're just like us. With total strangers, we can use this to our advantage, and shift the conversation to topics you're both interested in. This gets them to talk about things they like, as you’re being receptive about this similarity.
事實上，這說明我們和朋友見面后不會受到他們的影響。我們自然而然地被他們吸引，是因為他們和我們很像。和完全陌生的人接觸時，也可以利用這點，把談話引到你們都感興趣的話題上。這樣對方就能夠談?wù)撍矚g的事情，因為你對這種相似性很容易接受。

Gossip Positively
正面八卦

Not all gossip is bad gossip, especially when it comes to compliments. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found what you say about others colors how people see you. If you compliment people, you're likely to be seen positively; if you complain, you're likely to be associated with those negative traits you hate. When you gossip about others, listeners unconsciously associate you with those characteristics you're describing, eventually having those traits 'transferred' on to you.
并非所有的八卦都是不好的閑話，尤其是贊美的話?！度烁衽c社會心理學(xué)》雜志上的一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，你對別人的評價會影響別人對你的看法。如果你贊美別人，聽眾也會用積極的眼光來看待你；如果你抱怨別人，聽眾可能會把你和那些你討厭的消極品質(zhì)聯(lián)系在一起。當(dāng)你八卦別人的時候，聽眾會不自覺地把你所描述的那些特征和你聯(lián)系在一起，最終把這些特征“轉(zhuǎn)移”到你身上。

Rule of thumb: if you're going to gossip about people, do it in a positive way.
經(jīng)驗法則：如果你要聊別人的八卦，就聊正面的內(nèi)容。

英文來源：《國際財經(jīng)時報》
翻譯&編輯：董靜
審校：丹妮