面對節(jié)節(jié)高升的房價壓力,離婚的“80后”們寧可選擇蝸居在一處也不分道揚鑣,這類“80后”自嘲為蝸婚族。不管是為了貪圖高房價遲遲不肯賣掉房子分道揚鑣,還是個人無力承擔另買房子的重擔……總之,房子已經(jīng)成了蝸婚族的借口,也成了許多80后無奈的選擇。據(jù)有關(guān)數(shù)據(jù)統(tǒng)計,目前80后蝸婚族已經(jīng)占到了一成多,“離婚不離家”正在被越來越多的80后離婚群所接納。那么,離婚后同住一個屋檐下怎樣才能相安無事呢?蝸婚是否會使兩人走向復婚呢?來看看國外這幾對兒蝸婚族吧。
After years of arguments and tension, Steve and Diana finally decided to separate. Their mortgage situation, however, meant they were stuck with each other until the stale property market revived. So they came up with a peculiar solution – one week Steve would live in their house while Diana slept on a friend's sofa. The next week, they would swap. The plan unravelled when Steve fell out with his friend and ended up sleeping in his car. Angela Lake-Carroll, an independent family law consultant who advised the couple (their names have been changed), says such situations are far from unusual. She has also dealt with couples who divide a house into upstairs and downstairs with a rigid timetable for kitchen and bathroom use.
在維持了多年爭吵不斷的緊張關(guān)系后,史蒂夫和戴安娜(均為化名)終于決定離婚了。但是,他們按揭貸款的狀況意味著,在低迷的房地產(chǎn)市場復活之前,他們無法徹底分開。因此,他們想出了一個獨特的解決方案——某一周史蒂夫會住在他們的房子里,而戴安娜則睡在朋友的沙發(fā)上;下一周,他們再互換角色。當史蒂夫和他的朋友鬧翻,最終在他的汽車里安家之后,這對夫婦的問題才得以解決。為他們提供咨詢的家庭法律獨立顧問安格拉?萊克·卡羅爾說,這種情況遠算不上異乎尋常。她還服務(wù)過這樣一對夫妻:兩人分居于樓上、樓下,就廚房和浴室的使用制定了嚴格的時間表。
Money problems brought on by the economic downturn and a volatile housing market have forced increasing numbers of couples to live separate lives under the same roof. Jonathan Moore, UK and Ireland country manager at Easyroommate.co.uk, a website for individuals wanting to find a flatmate or houseshare, says: "Relationships don't always work out but the recession is preventing even more couples from making a clean break when they split up. Difficulties in selling houses, negative equity and not being able to afford to move out are forcing more people to carry on living with their exes. Unfortunately, those same financial stresses that make the break-up process so difficult are often a key reason for the break-up."
由于經(jīng)濟衰退和住房市場動蕩,資金問題已迫使越來越多的夫婦在同一屋檐下過著離婚生活。Easyroommate.co.uk負責英國和愛爾蘭業(yè)務(wù)的經(jīng)理喬納森·穆爾說:“夫妻情分并不總能讓人藕斷絲連,但經(jīng)濟衰退正在阻止更多夫妻在離婚時徹底決絕。房屋難于脫手、負資產(chǎn)以及沒有足夠經(jīng)濟能力搬出去等,正迫使更多的人繼續(xù)同自己的前任配偶生活在一起。不幸的是,讓離婚過程如此艱難的財務(wù)壓力,往往正是夫妻離異的主要原因?!盓asyroommate網(wǎng)站服務(wù)于那些尋找合租和合買房屋伙伴的個人客戶。
Jonathan Alpert, a New York-based psychotherapist, has seen many more couples living together "due to financial worries, who ordinarily would have been in a divorce court. They are in a bind of sorts. They can't make mortgage and rent payments solo, yet can't stay married happily. They feel it's easier to deal with the psychological cost than the financial cost."
紐約心理醫(yī)生喬納森·阿爾珀特注意到,更多的夫婦“由于經(jīng)濟上的憂慮”而生活在一起,“而通常他們本應(yīng)出現(xiàn)在離婚法庭上。他們受到各種各樣的約束。他們不能獨自辦理抵押貸款或支付租金,但也不能維持幸福的婚姻。他們覺得心理咨詢成本比財務(wù)成本更容易應(yīng)對。”
David Hollingworth, of London and Country Mortgages, says one of the key problems for couples wanting to live apart is the inflexibility of mortgage providers. "Even if you're not in negative equity, your options will be limited if you can't get a good return on selling your home. It used to be that [UK] providers could lend 120 per cent of the value of a property but those products are no longer available." Before the financial crisis, he says, "there were very innovative products" that could help partners to buy out their ex of their shared home but now the focus is on low risk.
London and Country Mortgages公司的大衛(wèi)·霍林沃思說,對希望分手的夫妻來說,關(guān)鍵問題之一就是抵押貸款提供商的僵化做法?!凹词鼓銢]有變成負資產(chǎn),如果你賣掉房子不能取得可觀的回報,那你的選擇也將是有限的。過去(英國)抵押貸款供應(yīng)商可以貸出相當于物業(yè)價值120%額度的貸款,但如今這些產(chǎn)品都沒有了?!痹诮鹑谖C之前,他說,“市場上有著高度創(chuàng)新的產(chǎn)品”,可以幫助夫妻一方買斷前任配偶對共有房屋的產(chǎn)權(quán),但現(xiàn)在,市場最注重的是低風險。
Even when a split is amicable, living apart under the same roof is not straightforward. George Bonham (not his real name), a former banker who lives in Bournemouth, south England, and is working on starting his own business, says there was no acrimony between him and his ex but the housing market created problems. In March 2008 they put their two-bedroom property on the market and decided to continue to live together until they found a buyer. Despite having on average two viewings per week from prospective buyers, they still have not had an offer.
即使在友好分手后,生活在同一屋檐下也并非易事。曾是銀行家的喬治·博納姆(化名)住在英國南部的伯恩茅斯,正設(shè)法自行創(chuàng)業(yè)。他表示,他與前妻并未發(fā)生爭吵,但住房市場造成了問題。2008年3月,他們將兩人共有的兩居室房子在市場上掛牌出售,并決定在找到買主之前仍居住在一起。盡管平均每周有兩批潛在買家前來看房,但他們迄今仍未接到購買報價。
The situation has caused difficulties, says 32-year-old Bonham. "Problems snowball and you have to constantly adapt to new situations." Chiefly, new partners. "Three months after we split up, I found a new love interest. My ex and I had to create some ground rules quickly. We established we wouldn't bring partners back as it was too fresh and emotional. We were both reasonable and once that was agreed, we behaved in a respectful way." Nonetheless, his new partner did have concerns about him living with his ex: "My relationship swiftly ended because of my living arrangements," he says.
32歲的博納姆表示,這種狀況帶來了難題。“問題像滾雪球一樣越積越多,你必須不斷適應(yīng)新的情況?!笔紫仁切屡渑嫉膯栴}?!拔覀兎质?個月后,我找到了一個新戀人。我和前妻不得不很快制定了一些基本規(guī)則。我們商定,不要將各自的配偶帶回家,因為那實在是太匪夷所思、太刺激對方了。我們都是理性的人,一旦商定,我們就展現(xiàn)出對彼此的尊重?!辈贿^,他的新戀人確實在意他與前妻生活在一起的情況?!耙驗槲业木幼顩r,我們的戀愛關(guān)系很快就結(jié)束了,”博納姆說。