File photo of National Thanksgiving Turkey "Pumpkin" surrounded by hands moments after former president George W. Bush pardoned him in the Rose Garden of the White House on November 26, 2008.(Agencies) |
For most American families, there's one major money-related tradition associated with Thanksgiving: Black Friday shopping. But for others, bargain hunting takes a back seat to a financial reality check. They use this time together as an opportunity to discuss and review a host of financial issues ranging from estate planning and wills to investment and philanthropy. And financial advisers, who sometimes attend more formal versions of these Thanksgiving conversations, have much to share in terms of what direction these meetings can take. They stress that with a little preparation, and a lot of nonconfrontational goodwill, families can come out with an increased sense of connectedness, cooperation and shared vision. Still, it's hard to gauge how family members will react, even to the most innocuous statements. Every tribe has its more emotional and melodramatic types, and so it's crucial to limit the chances of misinterpretation or outbursts. This may be especially true if younger adults are involved and feel cornered in front of the whole family, experts say. "Listening is the most important part," says Ben Tobias, president of Tobias Financial Advisors in Plantation, Florida. If a son or daughter wants to join the Peace Corps instead of get a more traditional job, "find out the reasons why, and remember that doing something for two or three years can be a valuable experience. But ask, 'Have you given any thought to your plans after that?' You want them to look a little more in the future than just immediate gratification." "It's like the facts of life talk with our kids; no one wants to have it, but you have to do it," says Eleanor Blayney, consumer advocate for the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards. "People worry that if they sit down with Mom or Dad, it will be awkward or difficult. But it's important to open up about your goals and aspirations, and then ask people in the family what their situation is. You model the conversation by sharing where you are." Conversely, Blayney says these meetings may go "one generation up," where the needs of aging parents or grandparents get discussed. That gets tricky for many, as three out of four Americans have never discussed long-term care with their loved ones, according to Genworth's 2011 Financial Reality Check Study. If that subject is on the agenda, "Be straightforward and don't take family members by surprise," says Genworth national spokesperson Wendy Boglioli. "Tell your family that you have something important you want to talk about and do it in a comfortable, pleasant setting." "With elder parents, you have to ask them if they need some help with living expenses, medical expenses, all sorts of things," adds Bob Stammers, head of investor education for the CFA Institute, a global nonprofit of investment professionals from more than 100 countries. "Some people don't like to talk about it, and so you have to come at it from the heart. The older generation doesn't like to admit they need some help." (Read by Nelly Min. Nelly Min is a journalist at the China Daily Website.) (Agencies) |
對(duì)于大多數(shù)美國(guó)家庭來(lái)說(shuō),有個(gè)主要的與錢有關(guān)的傳統(tǒng)也和感恩節(jié)相關(guān):“黑色星期五”購(gòu)物。但是對(duì)于其他人來(lái)說(shuō),買便宜貨倒是處于次要地位,更重要的是審視財(cái)務(wù)狀況。他們利用感恩節(jié)的聚會(huì)來(lái)探討并回顧眾多財(cái)務(wù)問(wèn)題,從房產(chǎn)計(jì)劃、遺囑,到投資和慈善,多種多樣。 財(cái)務(wù)咨詢師對(duì)于會(huì)議的方向上有很多經(jīng)驗(yàn)可以分享,這些咨詢師有時(shí)還參加更正式的感恩節(jié)交流會(huì)。他們強(qiáng)調(diào),只需要稍許準(zhǔn)備,友善且不針鋒相對(duì),家庭成員就能在交流中更具互通、合作和共享的意識(shí)。 但是我們依然很難估計(jì)家庭成員會(huì)作何反應(yīng),甚至是對(duì)一些無(wú)傷大雅的表述。每個(gè)家族都有自己情緒化和戲劇性的風(fēng)格,所以減少誤解或者情感爆發(fā)的幾率至關(guān)重要。專家認(rèn)為,如果有年輕人參加,而且感覺遭到整個(gè)家庭的排擠時(shí),這一點(diǎn)尤為真切。 “傾聽是最重要的,” 佛羅里達(dá)州普蘭泰申的托比亞斯財(cái)務(wù)顧問(wèn)公司總裁本?托比亞斯說(shuō)道。如果兒女想加入美國(guó)和平隊(duì),而不是找一份更傳統(tǒng)的工作,“找出原因,而且記住,花兩三年做點(diǎn)事情是寶貴的人生經(jīng)歷。但要問(wèn)問(wèn),‘你有沒有想想這之后怎么辦?’你想要子女們多想想未來(lái),而不是暫時(shí)滿足?!?/p> “這有點(diǎn)像跟孩子討論性知識(shí),沒人想這樣,但你必須得做?!?注冊(cè)金融策劃師標(biāo)準(zhǔn)委員會(huì)的消費(fèi)者權(quán)益倡導(dǎo)者埃莉諾?布萊尼說(shuō)道。“人們擔(dān)心坐下來(lái)和父母談話很尷尬很艱難。但是坦誠(chéng)地說(shuō)出目標(biāo)和愿望很重要,之后詢問(wèn)一下家人的近況。和他人分享你的境況可以引導(dǎo)談話。” 但布萊尼卻認(rèn)為這些聚會(huì)可能變成“上一代”大討論,討論上年紀(jì)的父母或者祖父母的需求。這對(duì)很多人來(lái)說(shuō)很棘手,房地產(chǎn)信托投資機(jī)構(gòu)蓋恩沃斯的2011年財(cái)務(wù)狀況審視研究報(bào)告顯示,3/4的美國(guó)人從未與家人討論過(guò)長(zhǎng)期照料問(wèn)題。 蓋恩沃斯公司的全國(guó)發(fā)言人溫迪?博格利奧利說(shuō),如果這個(gè)話題提上議事日程,“直截了當(dāng)?shù)靥岢鰜?lái),不要讓家庭成員感到驚訝。告訴你的家人,你有重要的事想說(shuō),談話要在舒適愉悅的氛圍中進(jìn)行?!?/p> 投資管理研究協(xié)會(huì)的投資者教育主管鮑勃?斯塔莫爾斯說(shuō):“對(duì)年邁的父母,你必須問(wèn)問(wèn)他們生活開銷、醫(yī)療費(fèi)用等等用不用幫忙。有些人不喜歡談這些,因此你需要用心去說(shuō)。老年人不喜歡承認(rèn)自己需要幫助?!蓖顿Y管理研究協(xié)會(huì)是一家全球性的投資專業(yè)資格非贏利性機(jī)構(gòu),會(huì)員來(lái)自100多個(gè)國(guó)家。 相關(guān)閱讀 美國(guó)單身女性自購(gòu)訂婚戒指防“感恩節(jié)逼婚” A time of family reunion 美國(guó)人怎么過(guò)感恩節(jié)? (中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)英語(yǔ)點(diǎn)津 Julie 編輯:陳丹妮) |
Vocabulary: Black Friday: 感恩節(jié)過(guò)后的星期五。這一天,不僅是感恩節(jié)后的血拼日,也是圣誕購(gòu)物季的開始。 bargain hunting: 買便宜貨 take a back seat: 黯然隱退,處于次要地位 melodramatic: 情節(jié)劇的 Peace Corps: 美國(guó)和平隊(duì) the facts of life: 性知識(shí),生活方面的基本知識(shí) |