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What everyone's REALLY thinking in meetings: Notes reveal what workers write to look busy while the boss talks
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Bullet points, question marks, underlining and a couple of impressive looking equations.
著重號(hào),問(wèn)號(hào),下劃線,還有其他幾個(gè)令人印象深刻的方程式。
These are the methods used by one cheeky office worker to appear engaged in front of his boss during a mundane meeting.
這就是一位調(diào)皮的員工用來(lái)在常見(jiàn)的會(huì)議上在老板面前假裝很忙的方法。
The bored employee uploaded a copy of the hilarious handwritten notes he took during a conference to Reddit on Wednesday so others could learn how simple it is to fool you employer into thinking you're a productive member of staff.
周三,這位覺(jué)得開(kāi)會(huì)很無(wú)聊的員工將自己在某次會(huì)議期間手寫(xiě)的一份非常好笑的筆記上傳到Reddit網(wǎng)站上,以便讓大家學(xué)一下騙老板以為你效率很高有多簡(jiǎn)單。
'Pretend to pay attention and look like you’re writing important things even though it’s all BS,' he scrawled on a note pad.
他在記事本上潦草地寫(xiě)道:“假裝在注意聽(tīng)講,看上去你在寫(xiě)啥重要的東西,其實(shí)啥也不是。”
'Indentation and bullet points are always a nice touch,' he added.
他補(bǔ)充道:“縮進(jìn)和著重號(hào)是不錯(cuò)的點(diǎn)綴?!?/p>
After sitting and listening for another ten minutes, the officer worker jotted down some numbers and equations so it appeared he was paying close attention.
又聽(tīng)了十分鐘的會(huì)議內(nèi)容后,這位員工草草記下了幾個(gè)數(shù)字和方程式,因此看上去他在開(kāi)會(huì)時(shí)很專(zhuān)心。
He had several other pointers about how underlining, using question marks and drawing arrows made your notes look legitimate from afar.
他又提出了幾條建議,告訴大家劃線標(biāo)注、使用問(wèn)號(hào)、和畫(huà)箭頭如何能使你的會(huì)議記錄遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)看上去合情合理。
His last piece of advice was to make sure you jam some writing into the margins to 'avoided having to fill up more than one page'.
他的最后一條建議是,在紙張邊緣處寫(xiě)些字,免得還要另用一張。
'I can't wait until working in traditional offices are a thing of the past and working remotely from my bed becomes standard,' the man added.
他補(bǔ)充說(shuō):“非常盼望在傳統(tǒng)辦公室工作的時(shí)期成為過(guò)去,在家辦公成為新標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。”
Reddit users were quick to draw comparisons to their own 'waste of time' meetings, while others said the man should have used his time to be more productive.
Reddit網(wǎng)站用戶(hù)很快就將其和自己參加的“浪費(fèi)時(shí)間”的會(huì)議作了對(duì)比。也有些人說(shuō)這位員工應(yīng)該更高效地利用時(shí)間。
'Seriously, I don't know how many "mandatory" meetings I have that are better suited to be email or on the company messenger,' one user wrote.
一位用戶(hù)寫(xiě)道:“認(rèn)真地講,我不知道我參加了多少‘強(qiáng)制’會(huì)議,而這些會(huì)議內(nèi)容其實(shí)以電郵或者公司內(nèi)部通訊工具發(fā)送會(huì)更好?!?/p>
'I did that once too! Wrote something like "just writing things down so it looks like I'm paying attention". I still have the notebook at work,' commented another.
“我也這么干過(guò)!寫(xiě)一些類(lèi)似于‘隨便寫(xiě)寫(xiě),這樣看起來(lái)我在認(rèn)真參會(huì)’的東西在紙上。我還保存有工作時(shí)的記事本”,另一位用戶(hù)評(píng)論道。
The writer of another note, obtained by Daily Mail Australia, appears to have taken the man's advice, using dot points to jot down what a waste of time his hour and a half meeting was.
《每日郵報(bào)》澳洲版還拿到了另一份會(huì)議記錄,寫(xiě)下這份會(huì)議記錄的員工似乎已經(jīng)采納了前文所述員工的建議,使用圓點(diǎn)記下了這個(gè)長(zhǎng)達(dá)一個(gè)半小時(shí)的會(huì)議有多浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。
'Projector not working – standard. Good start.'
“投影儀壞掉了,普遍情況,不錯(cuò)的開(kāi)始?!?/p>
'No one is listening to you mate.... bla bla bla,' he wrote.
“講話(huà)的這位,沒(méi)人在聽(tīng)你說(shuō)啥啊……吧啦吧啦吧啦”,他寫(xiě)道。
He then took down the date of a quality audit with a short reminder to 'chuck a sickie' that day.
之后他記下了質(zhì)量審核的日期,加了個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短提醒,那天“請(qǐng)個(gè)病假”。
'That’s it. Great. 1.5 hours gone,' he wrote, marking the end of the meeting.
“就這樣,不錯(cuò),會(huì)開(kāi)了1個(gè)半小時(shí)”,會(huì)議結(jié)束時(shí)他寫(xiě)道。
The unidentified officer worker sat through another unbearable meeting on Thursday and compiled a sassy account of what was said after wasting some time while he waited for his boss to arrive. 這位身份不明的員工周四還耐著性子開(kāi)完另一個(gè)讓人難以忍受的會(huì)議,寫(xiě)下了一份活潑的會(huì)議記錄。等老板到會(huì)還耽誤了一會(huì)兒時(shí)間。
'Oh yeah, 10 minutes still waiting for directors to arrive.'
“噢耶,還有10分鐘主管才能來(lái)?!?/p>
'No worries, plenty of time, got nothing else to do,' he wrote.
“別擔(dān)心,時(shí)間足夠,沒(méi)啥可做的”,他寫(xiě)道。
He slammed one man for his 'boring' contribution, asking 'how does this relate to my project?'
他還批評(píng)了一位在會(huì)上說(shuō)的話(huà)“很無(wú)聊”的人,問(wèn)道:“這和我的項(xiàng)目有啥關(guān)系?”
'Wow this guy is putting people to sleep. Seriously.' he said, adding that he was the only one in the meeting who bothered to take notes.
“噢這人把大家都催眠了,講真”,他寫(xiě)道,他還補(bǔ)充說(shuō)他是會(huì)上唯一一個(gè)不厭其煩地做記錄的人。
Vocabulary
jot down:草草記下,匆匆記下
sickie:一天的病假
英文來(lái)源:每日郵報(bào)
翻譯&編審:yaning
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