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看了那么多政府外宣類翻譯,想來(lái)大家也學(xué)會(huì)了不少,今天咱們換換風(fēng)格,來(lái)段古文翻譯,測(cè)試一下自己多大能耐。
原文:吾輩凡夫,生存在功利社會(huì),終日忙忙碌碌,為柴米油鹽所困,酒色財(cái)氣所惑,既有追求,又有煩惱,若想做到從心所欲,難矣哉!
乍一看,感覺(jué)好難,該從哪兒下手呢?有點(diǎn)找不著北的節(jié)奏。“柴米油鹽”、“酒色財(cái)氣”這是要翻譯出各自對(duì)等的事物么?那么該怎么翻譯呢?給你兩個(gè)譯文版本,你來(lái)選擇哪個(gè)更牛:
譯文一
It is hardly possible, if not impossible, for common folks to follow their mind while living in such a hectic, materialistic world where one struggles to meet subsistence needs while fighting off sensual temptations and deals with a perplexing mix of lofty aspirations and worldly distractions.
譯文二
We ordinary people, living in a utilitarian-oriented society, rush about all day long, vexed by daily necessities like fuel, rice, cooking oil and salt, and tempted by cardinal vices such as wine, women, avarice and pride. What an immense difficulty to follow our hearts’ desire in the face of conflicts between pursuits and cares.
專家點(diǎn)評(píng):
1. 該句第一眼看去似乎難以駕馭,但是如果抓到句子的核心信息,做到輕重有別就不難處理了。認(rèn)真分析后會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)句子的核心是“吾輩凡夫在這個(gè)社會(huì)里想要做到從心所欲很難”,前面的信息都是說(shuō)明功利社會(huì)的,屬于事實(shí)背景部分,一般要放在從句或插入成分中。這樣,分清主次后才能開(kāi)始構(gòu)思句子的搭建。
2. 行文時(shí),“為......所困”和“為......所惑”這些詞屬于動(dòng)詞,可以隱去,從寫作的高度重新組織行文;
“柴米油鹽”和“酒色財(cái)氣”屬于中文具體詞,英譯時(shí)不能直接對(duì)等,需要進(jìn)行提煉概括;
“既有追求又有煩惱”屬于前后對(duì)比,在行文時(shí)盡量添加適當(dāng)?shù)男稳菰~修飾以增強(qiáng)語(yǔ)感。
原文:可惜遠(yuǎn)行奔波間,車馬勞頓,總是行色匆匆,山水的怡情悅目,都如過(guò)眼的云煙,只不過(guò)領(lǐng)略了一個(gè)大概,不能去探尋幽僻的妙境。
“圓形奔波”,“車馬勞頓”,“行色匆匆”,“怡情悅目”,“過(guò)眼煙云”……一大波四字成語(yǔ)。先不說(shuō)怎么翻譯這些四字表達(dá),想想這是什么邏輯關(guān)系,字字都要譯么?先來(lái)看譯文賞析:
大神譯文:
Yet fatiguing/tiring/exhausting/ long-haul journeys basically mean that I can only get a sketchy picture/glimpse of enchanting/engrossing/inviting/engaging/amazing/arresting natural landscape that greets me along my way as I hurry along to attend to business, with little time left to explore remote, less spoiled serenity.
網(wǎng)友譯文:
It is regretful that my rushing on the long journeys leaves me heavy with the fatigue of travel and unable to savor the soothing and pleasing landscape of mountains and waters. Their tranquil beauty fades away like floating clouds, leaving only a vague impression without the exploration of the secluded realm of beauty.
專家點(diǎn)評(píng):
1. 這句的邏輯關(guān)系需要認(rèn)真揣摩。句子大意或主體框架是“奔波勞頓使得我只能大概領(lǐng)略怡情的景色,匆匆忙忙而沒(méi)有多少時(shí)間去探尋妙境”,這樣C-C-E梳理后句子自然就容易處理了。
2. 行文時(shí),“遠(yuǎn)行奔波、車馬勞頓”屬于同義重復(fù),減譯為“fatiguing journeys”,添加“mean”表示原因;
“過(guò)眼的云煙”和“只能領(lǐng)略大概”屬于同義重復(fù),減譯為“get a sketchy glimpse of”;
“行色匆匆”通過(guò)“as”連接表示理由,“hurry along to attend to business”急匆匆去公干,最后添加“with”補(bǔ)充說(shuō)明造成的后果。
(來(lái)源:網(wǎng)絡(luò) 編輯:許晶晶)
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