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再一次飛行
One more chance

[ 2010-07-22 09:19]     字號(hào) [] [] []  
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父愛(ài)如山,父親嚴(yán)厲的叮嚀飽含著深沉的愛(ài),父親用寬厚的肩膀?yàn)槲覀儞纹鸪砷L(zhǎng)的一片天——
再一次飛行

By David Malki

硯青 選 孔媛媛 譯

My earliest memories are of pointing to the sky, having detected the far-off drone of a piston engine. Dad had been a pilot since before I was born. He flew a pea-green Cessna 172 from Rialto Municipal in Southern California. I can remember with crystal clarity those lazy Saturday afternoons at the airport, helping him push back the big hangar doors and leaning my small weight against the airplane’s struts as he pulled it into the sun.

I read him checklists, learning words like “aileron,” “magnetos,” and “pitot” that no one else in my first-grade class knew. I drew airplanes and helicopters all over every piece of paper I could find, proudly telling Dad that I was going to grow up to be a “helicopter designer.” I went to the library, looked up the addresses of every aircraft manufacturer I could think of, and sent them packets of drawings. (Grumman was the only one that responded, with a very nice letter and some glossy 8-by-10-inch photos of fighters.)

But, as a teenager, I had “better” things to do than hang out at the airport. I turned down invitations to fly out for breakfast—that would require getting up too early on weekend mornings. Eventually, I graduated from high school and moved away for college, beginning to build my life in a new city. I saw Dad less and less frequently. He talked occasionally about flying out to visit me, but then he fell ill and sold the plane. At 75 years of age, he was grounded.

Over the next few years his health deteriorated further. He lost weight, and his energy flagged. When I did see him, he often sat slumped in his chair in a defeated pose I’d never encountered before.

And then, one morning, I got the call that the ambulance had come in the middle of the night to take him away. I rushed to the hospital and met, for the first time, a thin, sad figure that I hardly recognized as my father—so different from the strong, robust figure of my childhood. I drove him home that day, driving as carefully as I could, and knew that he was weak when he never once bothered to comment on my driving! That night I told my wife about how much I regretted passing up the opportunity to fly more with Dad when I’d had the chance. I mentioned that in the back of my mind, I’d always thought that I’d become a pilot someday. I’d just never done anything about it.

A few weeks later, for Valentine’s Day, she surprised me with an introductory flight at a local flight school. I grinned like a chimp as I climbed into the school’s Piper Cherokee. When the Lycoming engine barked to life, it was as if a spark had jumped a gap in my heart—the love, vigor, and excitement of my childhood came rushing back.

As the instructor led me through some simple maneuvers, I realized that flying had to be part of my life again. The instructor complimented me on how comfortable I seemed in the sky and how sure my movements were—I told him that I’d done this before.

Before I left the airport that day, I bought a logbook and had the instructor sign the first line. I was working an evening shift at the time, so I worked flying lessons into my morning schedule. Within three months, I had my private pilot certificate and was as happy as I’d ever been.

But by then, Dad’s condition had gotten worse. His energy was very low. I’d told Mom about the flying lessons, but I didn’t tell Dad—I wanted it to be a surprise. Dad still liked to go to the airport now and then to watch the airplanes and perhaps chat with some of the pilots. Mom told me about a fly-in breakfast that was coming up and said she would make sure he’d be there. When the day came, I took to the air, flying the one-hour cross-country to my hometown. As I taxied from the runway to transient parking, I found Mom leading Dad across the ramp toward me.

The first words out of his mouth were, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I laughed and gave him a hug.

The next thing he said was a string of admonishments—“Always watch the weather. Don’t spend too much money. Always be careful taxiing. Take the time to do a proper preflight.” Once I heard his strict tone, I knew that the old Dad was back, if only for the day.

Mom coaxed him into the cockpit, and I gingerly steered the plane onto the same runway that was featured so heavily in my favorite childhood memories. With a roar the Cherokee pulled us into the air, and a trip around the pattern rushed by all too quickly. On final, I asked him if he wanted to go around again. Feeling the stress of the flight, he declined. I let the plane down gently, pulled off the runway, and taxied back to parking.

Mom and I helped him climb down the Cherokee’s wing, and Mom asked him about the flight. “Sure, David’s a good pilot,” he said. Coming from him, this was high praise.

In the months that followed, he weakened further. I took any opportunity I could to visit him, even as his speech and breathing became labored. We discussed where I’d flown recently, and he told me stories of notable trips he’d taken. He continued to warn me about the hazards of not watching the weather, a lesson I’ve taken to heart. Dad passed away about four months after the fly-in. My first flight ever had been as his passenger, and his last flight had been as mine. I continued to revisit the little Southern California airports that we’d been to together.

At Apple Valley, an airport in the desert northeast of Los Angeles, a restaurant wall is decorated with handwritten messages from 60 years’ worth of pilots who’ve passed through. Names and dates fight for space on the long, painted brick expanse. I remembered this place. I wondered if I’d written anything there.

I spent 15 minutes searching the wall, trying to find my own name. Instead, I found Dad’s—dated five years before I was born.

The ink had faded over the decades, and the name was partially covered by newer additions. I borrowed a marker from the waitress and inked over his signature, smiling as I recognized his familiar scrawl. I colored in his name and date, and then added my own beneath it. Mine was a little bit smaller, a little bit newer, a little bit sloppier—but it was right next to Dad’s.

我能回憶起的最早的事情就是指著天空,耳邊傳來(lái)遠(yuǎn)處的活塞引擎的轟鳴聲。在我出生之前,父親就已經(jīng)是一位飛行員了。他駕駛著一架豆綠色的塞斯納172飛機(jī)從南加州的里亞爾托市飛過(guò)來(lái)。我還清晰地記得那些在飛機(jī)場(chǎng)度過(guò)的懶洋洋的周六下午,幫他把巨大的機(jī)庫(kù)艙門推回去,父親把飛機(jī)停在太陽(yáng)下的時(shí)候,我就把小小的身體靠在飛機(jī)支架上。

我給他念設(shè)備清單,學(xué)會(huì)了很多其他一年級(jí)學(xué)生都不認(rèn)識(shí)的詞,像“副翼”、“磁發(fā)電機(jī)”和“空速管”。我在能夠找到的每張紙上都畫滿了飛機(jī)和直升機(jī),還自豪地告訴父親我長(zhǎng)大后要當(dāng)“直升機(jī)設(shè)計(jì)師”。我跑去圖書館查找我所能想到的所有飛機(jī)制造商的地址,給他們寄去一包包我畫的草圖。(格魯曼公司是唯一給我回復(fù)的公司,寄給我一封很親切的信,還有幾張8×10英寸的殲滅機(jī)的光面照片。)

但是,作為一名十幾歲的少年,我還有比在機(jī)場(chǎng)閑逛更“好”的事情要做。我拒絕了父親開飛機(jī)去吃早飯的邀請(qǐng),因?yàn)槟菢拥脑捴苣┮鸬暮茉?。接下?lái),我中學(xué)畢業(yè),去外地上大學(xué),開始在新的城市生活。我越來(lái)越不能??吹礁赣H了。他偶爾會(huì)談起飛過(guò)來(lái)看我,但隨后他生病了,并賣掉了飛機(jī)。七十五歲那年,他結(jié)束了飛行生涯。

接下來(lái)的幾年里,他的健康狀況更加惡化了。他日漸消瘦,精力也不濟(jì)了。我看到他的時(shí)候,他萎靡地靠在椅子里,那副蕭索的姿態(tài)是我以前從未見(jiàn)過(guò)的。

然后,一天早晨,我接到電話,得知他在半夜被救護(hù)車接走了。我沖到醫(yī)院,第一次看到一個(gè)瘦弱悲傷的身影,幾乎認(rèn)不出那是我的父親——他和我童年時(shí)那個(gè)身體強(qiáng)壯、精力充沛的形象是如此不同。那天我開車送他回家,一路上竭盡所能得小心翼翼。我知道他很虛弱,因?yàn)樗疾辉儋M(fèi)神評(píng)價(jià)我的駕駛技術(shù)了!那天夜里,我告訴妻子,多么后悔當(dāng)初沒(méi)有抓住機(jī)會(huì)多和父親出去飛行。我對(duì)她說(shuō),在我心靈深處,一直認(rèn)為有一天自己會(huì)成為一名飛行員。但我卻從來(lái)沒(méi)有向那方面努力。

幾周后的情人節(jié)那天,妻子給了我一個(gè)驚喜:當(dāng)?shù)仫w行學(xué)校的駕駛?cè)腴T課。登上學(xué)校的派珀?切諾基飛機(jī)時(shí),我笑得開心極了。萊康明引擎開始隆隆作響的時(shí)候,我心里仿佛有一朵火花倏地一閃——童年時(shí)的熱愛(ài)、活力和激動(dòng)統(tǒng)統(tǒng)回來(lái)了。

教練教給我一些簡(jiǎn)單的操作技術(shù)的時(shí)候,我意識(shí)到,飛行要重新成為我生命的一部分了。教練稱贊我在空中絲毫都不緊張,動(dòng)作也很穩(wěn)——我告訴他我以前也這樣做過(guò)。

那天離開機(jī)場(chǎng)前,我買了一本飛行日志,并讓教練寫下了第一行。那時(shí)我上的是夜班,所以就把飛行課放在了早晨。三個(gè)月的時(shí)間里,我拿到了自己的個(gè)人飛行員證書,高興得不得了。

但是彼時(shí),父親的健康狀況更加惡化了。他精神非常不好。我已經(jīng)把上飛行課的事告訴了母親,但還沒(méi)有告訴父親——我想把它當(dāng)作一個(gè)驚喜。

父親仍然喜歡不時(shí)地去機(jī)場(chǎng)看看飛機(jī),可能還會(huì)和某位飛行員聊聊天。母親告訴我,不久會(huì)有個(gè)清晨飛行聚餐,還說(shuō)她會(huì)確保父親到時(shí)會(huì)去。到了那一天,我駕駛飛機(jī)飛了一個(gè)小時(shí),來(lái)到了家鄉(xiāng)。我在跑道上滑行到臨時(shí)停機(jī)場(chǎng)時(shí),看到母親帶著父親穿過(guò)停機(jī)坪,來(lái)到我跟前。

他吐出的第一句話是,“你為什么沒(méi)有告訴我?”我大笑著擁抱了他。

接下來(lái)他給了我一連串的警告——“一定要注意天氣。別花太多錢?;袝r(shí)一定要小心。飛行前要好好準(zhǔn)備?!币宦?tīng)到他嚴(yán)厲的口吻,我知道,原來(lái)的父親回來(lái)了,即使只有這一天。

母親勸他進(jìn)了駕駛艙,我小心翼翼地把飛機(jī)駛?cè)胛覂簳r(shí)印象最深的那條跑道。切諾基飛機(jī)轟鳴著把我們帶到空中,很快就繞航道飛了一圈。最后,我問(wèn)他還想不想再飛一圈。感到飛行的壓力,他拒絕了。我穩(wěn)穩(wěn)地降落了飛機(jī),駛離跑道,滑行回了停機(jī)場(chǎng)。

母親和我扶著他下了機(jī)翼,母親問(wèn)他飛行的感受?!爱?dāng)然,大衛(wèi)是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的飛行員,”他說(shuō)。從他嘴里說(shuō)出這話,真是很高的評(píng)價(jià)。

接下來(lái)的幾個(gè)月里,他狀況更加不好了。我找到一切可能的機(jī)會(huì)去看他,甚至在他說(shuō)話和呼吸都很費(fèi)力的時(shí)候。我們聊著我最近飛行的地方,他告訴我他經(jīng)歷過(guò)的精彩的飛行。他不斷告誡著我要注意天氣變化帶來(lái)的危險(xiǎn),這些我已銘記于心。距那次飛行幾個(gè)月后,父親去世了。我人生的第一次飛行就是作為父親的乘客,而他的最后一次飛行,是我的乘客。我一次次地回到我們一起飛行的南加州那個(gè)小小的飛機(jī)場(chǎng)。

在蘋果谷,洛杉磯東北部沙漠中的一個(gè)機(jī)場(chǎng),一面旅店的墻上貼著60年來(lái)經(jīng)過(guò)此地的飛行員的手跡。那面長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的,油漆過(guò)的磚墻上,擠滿了層層疊疊的名字和日期。我記得這個(gè)地方。我想知道我是否曾在那寫過(guò)什么。

我花了15分鐘在那面墻上細(xì)細(xì)搜尋,試圖找到我自己的名字。然而,我找到的卻是父親的名字,日期在我出生五年前。

過(guò)了幾十年的時(shí)間,墨跡已經(jīng)變淡了,這個(gè)名字也已經(jīng)一半被更新的名字遮住了。我從女侍者那里借了一支簽字筆,把他的簽名描了一遍。我認(rèn)出了他那熟悉而潦草的筆跡,一直微笑著。我把他的名字和日期描得更深一些,然后在下面添上了我自己的名字。我的要更小一點(diǎn),也更新一點(diǎn),也更潦草——但它就在父親名字的旁邊。

(來(lái)源:英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)雜志)

Vocabulary:

1. Cessna 172: 賽斯納172是歷史上最成功產(chǎn)量最多的小型飛機(jī)。

2. Grumman: 諾思羅普?格魯曼公司,美國(guó)主要的航空航天飛行器制造廠商之一。

3. Piper Cherokee: 派珀?切諾基,派珀飛機(jī)公司制造的一種4座單引擎小飛機(jī)。

4. fly-in: 事先安排好的個(gè)人飛機(jī)駕駛員間的非正式的聚會(huì)。

 
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