剛剛失戀的時(shí)候，你會(huì)覺得，你一輩子也擺脫不了這段感情帶來的傷害，但是可能33天后，你的傷口就愈合了，誰知道呢？人們總是低估自己的自愈能力?？茖W(xué)家表示，如果你遵從本文的五個(gè)科學(xué)方法，這個(gè)過程還可以進(jìn)一步縮短。有沒有興趣了解一下？

The only way to truly get over a breakup is to give it time.
真正走出失戀痛苦的唯一辦法就是給它時(shí)間。

As biological anthropologist Helen Fisher previously told Business Insider, "The day will come when that person who's been camping in your head is out. And you wake up in the morning and you realise that yesterday you never thought about them at all."
正如生物人類學(xué)家海倫?費(fèi)雪曾對(duì)商業(yè)內(nèi)幕網(wǎng)說過的：“總有一天，那個(gè)盤踞在你腦海里的人會(huì)消失。當(dāng)你在清晨醒來，你會(huì)意識(shí)到自己昨天一次都沒有想起那個(gè)人?！?/p>

In fact, research suggests that we tend to overestimate how long it will take us to feel better after a breakup.
事實(shí)上，研究表明，我們通常會(huì)把自己走出失戀痛苦的時(shí)間估計(jì)得過長(zhǎng)。

That said, if you've just landed in Splitsville, there are plenty of ways to speed up the recovery process - so you can show up to work as a functioning human being, and not a sobbing mess.
盡管如此，如果你剛剛分手，有很多方法都可以加速心情的恢復(fù)，以便你能正常工作，不再哭哭啼啼。

以下就是專家推薦的應(yīng)對(duì)失戀痛苦的五個(gè)科學(xué)方法。

1. Don't Facebook-stalk your ex
不要在社交媒體上偷偷關(guān)注你的前任

A study published 2012 in the journal Cyberpsychology found that people who creep on their exes' Facebook profiles are more likely to have negative feelings for the person, more likely to desire that person, and less likely to grow from the breakup.
2012年發(fā)表在《網(wǎng)絡(luò)心理學(xué)》期刊上的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，偷偷關(guān)注前任Facebook狀態(tài)的人更可能對(duì)前任懷有消極情緒，更容易對(duì)前任產(chǎn)生欲望，更難從分手中走出來。

It's hard to say whether looking at an ex's Facebook profile directly causes distress, or whether it's the other way around. Either way, do yourself a favour and try to resist the urge to "just check" what your ex has been up to since the breakup.
關(guān)注前任的Facebook狀態(tài)是否會(huì)直接帶來痛苦還是緩解痛苦，這很難說。無論是哪種情況，為了自己，請(qǐng)努力克制住“看一眼”前任分手后狀態(tài)的欲望。

2. List five 'must-haves' and five 'can't-stands' in a potential partner
列出潛在伴侶“必須具備”的五個(gè)特質(zhì)和“讓你受不了”的五個(gè)特質(zhì)。

That's a tip from Andrea Syrtash, dating expert and author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It."
這是約會(huì)專家安德莉亞?西爾塔什給出的建議。西爾塔什是《他不是你的菜（這是好事）：如何在最不可能的地方找到真愛》的作者。

Syrtash previously told Business Insider she recommends going deeper with each value - so instead of "must have brown hair and brown eyes," try "I must be attracted to this person."
西爾塔什先前告訴商業(yè)內(nèi)幕網(wǎng)說，她建議更深入地挖掘每一種價(jià)值，不要寫“必須有棕色頭發(fā)和棕色眼睛”，試著寫“我一定要被這個(gè)人吸引”之類的話。

One benefit of this exercise is that you might realise while you want someone who's emotionally open, for example, none of your exes have been. From there, you can start to look for a partner who's more suitable for you.
這種練習(xí)的好處之一是你可能會(huì)意識(shí)到一些事實(shí)，比如盡管你想要一個(gè)開朗的對(duì)象，但是你的前任全都不是這樣的人。從此以后，你可以開始尋找一個(gè)更適合你的對(duì)象。

3. Try not to assume the breakup reflects something wrong with you
不要認(rèn)為分手反映出你的某種缺陷。

A 2016 paper in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that your ability to deal with a breakup has a lot to do with your sense of self.
2016年發(fā)表在《個(gè)性與社會(huì)心理學(xué)通報(bào)》期刊上的一篇論文指出，你應(yīng)對(duì)分手的能力和你對(duì)自我的感知有很大關(guān)系。

One of the study authors, Lauren Howe, broke it down in The Atlantic:
該研究的作者之一勞倫?霍伊在《大西洋月刊》上分析道：

"In our research, people reported the most prolonged distress after a romantic rejection when it caused their self-image to change for the worse. People who agreed that the rejection made them question who they really were also reported more often that they were still upset when they thought about the person who had rejected them."
“在我們的研究中，人們報(bào)告稱，如果被甩導(dǎo)致自我形象崩塌，分手后的痛苦期是最長(zhǎng)的。那些認(rèn)同被甩會(huì)導(dǎo)致自我懷疑的人當(dāng)中，更多人報(bào)告稱，當(dāng)他們想起那個(gè)甩掉自己的人，他們依然會(huì)感到痛苦。”

On the other hand, Howe wrote, people who responded with remarks such as, "I learned that two people can both be quality individuals, but that doesn't mean they belong together" tended to have an easier time with the breakup.
與此同時(shí)，霍伊寫道，說出下面的話的受訪者通常能更好地應(yīng)對(duì)分手：“我明白了即使兩個(gè)人都是優(yōu)秀的人，也不意味著他們就應(yīng)該在一起?！?/p>

Howe recommends that we try to "question our own narratives" about what the breakup reveals about us in order to have an easier time coping.
分手揭示出你的個(gè)人缺陷？霍伊建議“不要聽從這個(gè)內(nèi)心的聲音”，這樣分手后才不會(huì)那么痛苦。

4. Write about a silver lining you've found in the breakup
把分手的好處寫下來

Research suggests that simply journaling about your emotions surrounding a breakup can make you feel worse.
研究顯示，把和分手有關(guān)的情感歷程記錄下來會(huì)讓你感覺更糟。

But a study published 2015 in the journal Social and Personal Relationships found a specific type of journalling can help you cope: writing a redemptive narrative. That is, a story about how you turned suffering - in this case, a breakup - into a positive experience.
2015年發(fā)表在《社會(huì)與個(gè)人關(guān)系》期刊上的一項(xiàng)研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，有一種類型的日記能夠幫你更好地應(yīng)對(duì)分手：救贖故事，就是把你如何把苦難（比如分手）轉(zhuǎn)化為積極經(jīng)歷的故事寫下來。

Participants in the study felt less distressed after writing their redemptive narratives for four days - so it's unclear how long the effects last.
該研究的參與者在連續(xù)寫了四天救贖故事后，感覺沒那么痛苦了，至于這個(gè)效果能持續(xù)多久就不清楚了。

5. Talk about the breakup
談?wù)摲质?/strong>