Recipes for disaster...
菜單淪陷……

Eating out is one of the best parts of a holiday, unless your menu includes one of these unusual treats...
美食是度假中最美好的部分，除非你在菜單上看到這些奇葩菜名……

A restaurant in the Czech Republic offers: “Horses douvres.” Just say neigh.
捷克一家飯店提供:“Horses douvres.（馬式餐前點(diǎn)心）”來(lái)，學(xué)馬叫兩聲。

In Cadiz, Spain, “Roast Alf Partridge” is a firm favourite on the menu. Perhaps they couldn't catch Alan Partridge.
在西班牙的加迪斯，“Roast Alf Partridge（烤阿爾夫·帕特其）”是菜單上受人喜愛(ài)的一道菜，也許是因?yàn)樗麄冏ゲ坏桨瑐悺づ撂仄洌ㄗg者注：英國(guó)喜劇《阿爾法爸爸》中的主人公）”。

A jar of black raspberry jam in America: “Tastes Like Grandma.” We all love our grandmas but no one wants to eat her.
美洲的一種黑樹(shù)莓果醬瓶身上寫(xiě)著：“Tastes Like Grandma.（外婆的味道）”，我們都愛(ài)外婆，可是我們不想吃掉她們。

One establishment in Beijing offers “Virgin chicken”. It's pure meat.
北京一家店提供“Virgin chicken（童子雞）”，其實(shí)全是肉。

Meanwhile, another China restaurant has “grilled sexual harassment” on its menu.
另外一家中國(guó)飯店的菜單上提供“grilled sexual harassment（烤性騷擾）”。

Which would go nicely with the “Lawyer Foam” that appeared on a menu in Madrid.
馬德里一份菜單上的“Lawyer Foam（律師泡沫）”跟樓上那條絕配。

A shortage of plates after the traditional plate smashing means one Greek restaurant may have had to find an unusual alternative going by this: “Fish on the eyelid.”
可能希臘一家餐館的盤(pán)子弄碎了不夠用，所以餐館需要找一個(gè)不尋常的替代品：“Fish on the eyelid.（盛在眼瞼上的魚(yú)肉）”。

“Please do not park in front of the sh**ter,” a sign in South Goa, India, warns. Probably sage advice as Delhi Belly can be rife among travellers.
印度果阿邦南部的一條警示標(biāo)語(yǔ)：“Please do not park in front of the sh**ter（請(qǐng)不要在廁所前泊車）”。也有道理啊，德里腹瀉可能會(huì)在游客之間傳播呢。

Hotel howlers...
酒店囧譯……

And things don't get much better after you check in...
登記入住后，情況并沒(méi)有好轉(zhuǎn)……

A sign in a hotel bathroom inFrancewarns guests: “Do not throw kidney in the toilet.” Does that mean a liver is allowed?
法國(guó)一家旅館的浴室寫(xiě)著：“Do not throw kidney in the toilet.（不要把腎扔進(jìn)馬桶）”所以說(shuō)，把肝扔馬桶里是可以的？

While this sign inKazakhstancertainly isn't going to encourage us to get our five a day: “There is a bowel of fruit in each room.” Yum.
哈薩克斯坦的這家旅館一定不鼓勵(lì)我們“一天五個(gè)”水果吃法：“There is a bowel of fruit in each room.（每個(gè)房間都有一腸子水果。）”真好吃啊。

A guest information booklet in aThailandhotel bedroom gives some very honest advice: “If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish.”
泰國(guó)一家旅館房間的賓客信息冊(cè)子給出了非常誠(chéng)懇的建議：“If you are thinking of hiring a car please drive carefully as all Thai drivers have a death wish.（如果你想租車，要小心，每個(gè)泰國(guó)司機(jī)都想死。）”

Meanwhile, landscapers at a resort inAntiguaare getting out of hand, according to this sign: “Our gardeners work delinquently."
安提瓜島旅游勝地的園林綠化工已經(jīng)失控了，這條標(biāo)語(yǔ)告訴我們：“Our gardeners work delinquently.（我們的園丁消極怠工）”

In an Austrian skiing resort, one establishment tried to lay down the law about diners taking their meals upstairs to the restaurant: “It is not allowed to consume meals and drinks from our self-service restaurant!”
在奧地利的一個(gè)滑雪勝地，一家餐館試圖跟用餐者強(qiáng)調(diào)把食物帶到樓上餐廳去吃的規(guī)定，店里標(biāo)識(shí)寫(xiě)道: “It is not allowed to consume meals and drinks from our self-service restaurant!（不許在我們的自助餐廳飲食?。薄＃ㄓ⑽膩?lái)源：英國(guó)《鏡報(bào)》）

Vocabulary:

howler: 愚蠢的錯(cuò)誤

indulge: 縱容

globe-trotting: 環(huán)球游覽

pitfalls: 隱藏的危險(xiǎn)

filthy: 下流的

（譯者：FUN邱順菁，編輯 馬文英）