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多數(shù)美國老人不愿與成年子女同住

中國日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng) 2012-07-12 08:42

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多數(shù)美國老人不愿與成年子女同住

Jackie Merz, center front, and her husband, Bill, right, both 75, laugh with friends, from left, Jean Haglund, and Joe and Rita Frey at Eskaton Village in Roseville.

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In a spirit of gratitude and giving back to the parents who raised them, Bill and Jackie Merz's daughters have extended a generous invitation.

"They both live in Chicago now," said Bill Merz, 75, a retired Sacramento State psychology professor. "One was willing to put an extra floor on her house and install an elevator for us so we could live there. The other wanted to convert her basement for us.

"I told them we'd have somebody shoot us before we did that."

The Merzes, who live in their own home at Eskaton Village Roseville, adore their extended, close-knit family, which also includes two sons in California and 11 grandchildren. But the idea of living with the kids in their older age leaves them cold.

"My first reaction was, 'I don't want you telling me what to do,'" said Jackie Merz, who is also 75 and a retired teacher and counselor.

Most older adults tend to be a bit more euphemistic about it: Typically, they say that they don't want to be a burden to their kids, or that they don't want to impose. But statistics show a plainer truth. In huge numbers, seniors relish their freedom, and they want to live on their own as long as they can.

In the Sacramento region, US census figures show that almost three-fourths of people 65 and older live in same-generation (as opposed to multigenerational) households. National figures are even higher, with nearly 80 percent of older adults living in their own households – more than triple the number from the 1940s.

A recent survey from the research firm Gallup & Robinson highlights that sense of independence. While 53 percent of people below age 65 said they would take in an aging parent who needed their help, only a quarter of people older than 65 said they would accept an invitation to live with their grown children.

Those attitudes fly in the face of a stubborn cultural cliché, in which the grandparents, kids and grandkids grow older together under one roof – a holdover from the days when there was no choice but for the generations to live together, like it or not.

"I think the stereotype exists because we continually look retrospectively," said Bill Merz. "It becomes a museum piece. Look at TV shows and movies about Christmas, the nuclear family they show.

"It hasn't been that way since World War II. GIs didn't come back from the war and move to Mom and Dad's neighborhood. They moved to the suburbs or across the country."

(Read by Nelly Min. Nelly Min is a journalist at the China Daily Website.)

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(Agencies)

比爾?默茨和杰基?默茨夫婦的女兒們一心想要感謝和回報(bào)父母的養(yǎng)育之恩,對(duì)他們慷慨相邀。

“她們兩個(gè)現(xiàn)在都住在芝加哥,”現(xiàn)年75歲的比爾?默茨說。他曾是薩拉門托州立大學(xué)的心理學(xué)教授,現(xiàn)已退休。“一個(gè)想要在她家的房子里加一層,給我們裝上電梯,這樣我們就能住在那兒了。另一個(gè)想把地下室改裝給我們住?!?/p>

“我告訴她們?nèi)绻@樣,還不如斃了我們?!?/p>

默茨夫婦住在他們艾斯卡頓村羅薩維爾區(qū)自己的家中,非常熱愛他們緊密團(tuán)結(jié)的大家庭,除了兩個(gè)女兒,他們還有兩個(gè)住在加利福尼亞的兒子和11個(gè)孫子和孫女。但想到自己的晚年要和孩子們住在一起,他們感到很不快。

現(xiàn)年75歲的杰基?默茨說:“我的第一反應(yīng)是:我不需要你來告訴我怎么做?!彼且幻o導(dǎo)教師,現(xiàn)在也已退休。

多數(shù)老人對(duì)此的態(tài)度會(huì)委婉一些。通常,他們會(huì)說他們不愿成為孩子的負(fù)擔(dān),或他們不想強(qiáng)行要求孩子接納他們。但數(shù)據(jù)卻更直白地反應(yīng)了真相。有相當(dāng)多的老人很享受他們當(dāng)下的自由狀態(tài),想盡可能地自己生活。

在美國薩拉門托州,人口普查數(shù)據(jù)顯示,65歲以上的老人當(dāng)中有近四分之三和同代人一起居住,而不是多世同堂。全國范圍內(nèi)這一比例甚至更高,將近80%的老人住在自己的房子里——比上世紀(jì)40年代這一數(shù)據(jù)的三倍還要高。

蓋洛普暨羅賓遜調(diào)查公司最近的一項(xiàng)調(diào)查便凸顯了這種自立感。65歲以下的人有53%表示他們?cè)敢馀c需要他們幫助的年邁父親或母親同住,而65歲以上的人只有四分之一表示會(huì)接受其成年子女的邀請(qǐng)與之同住。

這種態(tài)度公然挑戰(zhàn)了頑固的傳統(tǒng)文化觀念。在舊觀念里,祖父母,子女,孫子和孫女應(yīng)該在同一屋檐下生活,成長,老去,這是從遠(yuǎn)古時(shí)代遺留下來的傳統(tǒng)——那時(shí),無論喜歡還是不喜歡,人們沒有選擇,只能多代同堂。

“我覺得這種老思想仍然存在是因?yàn)槲覀兛偸窃谧匪葸^去,”比爾?默茨說,“這玩意兒已經(jīng)是博物館里的古董了??纯措娨暫?a >電影里核心家庭是怎么過圣誕節(jié)的?!?/p>

“自從二戰(zhàn)以來人們就不那樣生活了。士兵們從戰(zhàn)場歸來后,并沒有搬到父母的住宅區(qū)里。他們到郊區(qū)去居住,或在全國各地落腳?!?/p>

相關(guān)閱讀

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研究新發(fā)現(xiàn):每個(gè)父母都偏心

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(中國日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)英語點(diǎn)津 陳丹妮 編輯:Julie)

Vocabulary:

euphemistic: 委婉的

relish: 喜愛,享受

fly in the face of: 悍然不顧,公然違抗

holdover: 剩余物;從前一時(shí)代過來的人(或物)

retrospectively: 回顧地,懷舊地

GI: Government Issue 美國兵;美國現(xiàn)役或退伍軍人

 

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