THE WEEK: Go! Go! Go!
中國日報網(wǎng) 2016-02-01 08:58
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Reward to our hero
We had a Spiderman sighting in Foshan, China. Yes, your neighborhood friendly Spiderman is in China collecting some serious Chinese RMBs. Spiderman circulated the World Wide Web this week after taking down a ring of illegal drug operations across Guangdong province. To thank Spiderman for his help, local authorities invited him to the police station to personally hand him 450,000 RMB in cash! Apparently Spiderman's price is quite high seeing how this is Guangdong police's biggest payout ever. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you Spiderman! You caught the bad guys. With Valentines day coming up, take that money and have a great Web-Buary.
Raw beef
In China, there was a man who loved eating RAW beef. Yes, you heard that correctly, RAW beef. In fact, it's quite common here. RAW beef… Yeah anyways, the man who was eating RAW beef all the time suddenly started getting numerous stomach aches, was vomiting, had diarrhea, and a strong case of physical weakness. From eating RAW beef? You don't say… So these symptoms were going on for two years. Two years of pain and torture before finally the man went to the hospital to check it out. Lo and behold there it was… A TAPEWARM MEASURING 20 FEET IN LENGTH… Ouch! It took doctors two hours to remove this tape warm before the Chinese man was released back into his RAW beef eating world. I just have a bad gut feeling about this.
Go! Go! Go!
And finally, breaking news out of the United States of America where a dog accidentally ran a half marathon and finished in seventh place. Not bad… In Elkmont, Alabama, a town of 400 people (they have towns of 400 people in America? Hmmm) The dog, who is two-years-old, was let out of her home to go pee-pee and then decided to just run entire half-marathon. I feel like I've seen a movie one time where someone from Alabama was let out of his home and just decided to run. Now if you think this is impressive I have two theories here, one: I think the dog has been secretly training for this race all along, and two: Running a marathon is not that hard, you just run, and… well that's it, and when you cross some imaginary line you are finished.
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